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Bed-Sharing With Infants: Despite State Warning, Some Maine Parents Defend Practice

Patty Wight
/
MPBN
Freeport mother Sarah Jorgensen says she'll continue to bed-share with her infant out of necessity.

AUGUSTA, Maine - Over the past two months, the state medical examiner says five babies in Maine have died, and their deaths have been directly related to unsafe sleeping practices. Last week the Maine attorney general and chief medical examiner issued a warning to parents not to share a bed with their babies. But supporters of the practice say there are good, natural reasons to bed-share.

The decision to share a bed with her baby wasn't a philosophical one for Sarah Jorgensen of Freeport. It was a matter of necessity. "It was: I'm exhausted, and I'm breastfeeding," she says. "And I can have him right next to me and roll over and he can eat, and roll back over, and then we can go back to sleep until they're hungry again."

That was the experience Jorgensen had with her first child, who is now three. Now she's sleeping with her 11-week-old baby. Jorgensen says when she first started bringing her babies into bed, her husband worried. "You know, 'What if I don't know he's there? I'm not used to another human being in the bed, especially a little 10-pound baby,' " Jorgensen says. "So concerns about that, for sure."

Jorgensen says she and her husband felt more comfortable knowing they take certain precautions: They don't drink. They don't take medications. Their blankets are separate from their baby's swaddle.

Jorgensen says she's heartbroken to hear about the recent infant deaths in Maine due to bed-sharing, and she thinks about those parents a lot. But she'll continue to sleep with her baby.

"And I'm sure they're saying, 'How can people still co-sleep when this happened to us - what is wrong with you?' " she says. "But you look at the big picture, then you look inward, and, do I need sleep? Yes. I have two young children and my husband goes out to sea for long amounts of time. I'm the sole caregiver here. I need sleep and this is how it's going to happen."

But Chief Medical Examiner Dr. Mark Flomenbaum says in a written statement that parents should resist the temptation to curl up with a baby in bed. On average, about 10 to 12 babies die each year in Maine because of unsafe sleep circumstances. But these five deaths in less than two months are numbers Flomenbaum says he's never seen before in his 23-year career. And he says the deaths are easily preventable.
 

Credit Patty Wight / MPBN
/
MPBN
Leah Deragon, co-director of Birth Roots, a Portland-based organization that offers support to new parents.

"It's very important not to sleep with your baby," says Dr. Jennifer Hayman, a pediatric hospitalist at Maine Medical Center who has researched unsafe sleep-related deaths in Maine infants for several years. She says creating a safe space in bed is difficult, because babies can asphyxiate on pillows, blankets, and mattresses - which aren't as firm as crib mattresses.

"So there's actually a lot of almost hidden dangers in that circumstance," Hayman says.

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends against sharing a bed or any soft surface, such as a couch, with an infant. But Leah Deragon says it's not a black and white issue.  "To make one statement - do not co-sleep - is a less-than-sophisticated response to this issue," says Deragon, co-director of Birth Roots, a Portland-based organization that offers support to new parents.

Deragon says Birth Roots doesn't recommend one sleep method over another, but offers information about the benefits and risks of different strategies so parents can decide what to do on their own.

"I think we need to break down:  Why are people are co-sleeping?" she says. "Are they co-sleeping because they're under-resourced? Maybe they don't own a crib, maybe their house actually is cold because they can't afford enough heat."

Deragon says moms may also choose to share a bed because they don't get adequate maternity leave and are exhausted. To reach parents, Deragon says it would be more useful to examine and address the underlying reasons for sharing a bed. For Portland mom Avery Kamila, the reason to share a bed is anthropological.

"It's such a natural thing. It's what other cultures do. It's what people have been doing since the beginning of time," Kamia says. "So it's sort of strange that here in America we blame parents for doing what's natural when we probably should be looking elsewhere for the causes of SIDS and crib deaths."

Dr. Jennifer Hayman says there is an alternative to bed-sharing that allows parents to sleep near their babies safely. It's called "separate but proximate."

"So getting a bassinet that's right next to the bed," she says. "The baby can come into the bed for feeding - you know, Mom and Dad are awake. And the baby goes right back into the bassinet and they're still nearby that way, and you haven't gotten up."

Hayman says when she counsels parents on sleeping strategies, she tells them deaths from bed-sharing may be rare, but when it happens, there's no going back.