The Vietnam War, like all wars, touched and destroyed many lives. The stunning Vietnam Memorial in Washington, D.C., bears witness to the appalling loss of life in Southeast Asia; however, there is so much more to the story of any war.
My personal life was devastated at an early age when my husband, Lt(jg) Gerald William Siebe, lost his life in Vietnam. Initially, I saw only our personal lives being destroyed; but soon, I realized that my grief was something mutually shared by many others.
On a beautiful day in May, many years ago, we bid a tearful farewell on a Navy pier in San Diego. The last time I saw my husband, he waved and blew a kiss to me from the deck of a massive aircraft carrier. We didn’t allow ourselves to dwell on the possible horrific consequences of his departure. We were in love and filled with the joie de vivre and optimism that only the very young can enjoy.
The tragedy of the loss of his life was exacerbated by the painful realization that the remainder of his life was not only curtailed but also was denied fulfillment. He had worked arduously, raising himself above circumstances of his birth by graduating from the United States Naval Academy in Annapolis and Naval flight school as a helicopter rescue pilot in Pensacola. We knew when he was assigned to San Diego that his next journey would inexorably lead him to Vietnam. His life was ended prematurely, and we can never know what he would have become and what contributions he could have made to society after he completed his five-year commitment to the Navy.
My husband’s death was not the end of the story. There is another reality to the loss of life, maiming, and PTSD of the participants of war. These losses ramify to include spouses, children, parents, friends, and colleagues. All experience the endless heartache of losing someone they love or admire either through untimely death or coping with a person they no longer know.
I was extremely fortunate to begin life again and share it with anther deeply moral, kind, intelligent, and loving man. We have two beautiful sons who have grown up to be the kind of men their father inspired them to be. My life has also been enriched with two healthy, ebullient grandchildren.
Yes, life goes on because it must; but, unfortunately, the victims of war both on the battlefield and domestically keep mounting. Many of us so deeply affected by the Vietnam War mistakenly thought the lessons of the Vietnam War would preclude repeating the same errors of wasting lives and resources in yet another war. However, for years, we have been embroiled in war again; and we can see no end to its madness. It’s a different war from the Vietnam War, but the suffering thrust upon war participants and those who wait and worry at home remains a universal experience. For those whose wait ends tragically, they are all left to wonder what might have been. To quote Bob Dylan, our Nobel laureate, “When will they ever learn? When will they ever learn?”