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Maine Public is encouraging Vietnam Veterans and anyone affected by the conflict to share their own story on the Vietnam War and correspondence they had during or after the war. Submissions can be written, recorded or videotaped and sent to Maine Public at mystory@mainepublic.org. The stories will be collected and archived here and some may be shared with the greater Maine audience.Watch "Courageous Conversations."Click HERE for support opportunities for veterans in crisis.

Bill Darrin

My Vietnam Perspective

I joined the Army, became an officer via OCS and went to Vietnam even though I was against the war. I can even prove it: my mother kept a copy of a paper I wrote before joining the Army in which I criticize our involvement.

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On the other hand, my father was a First Lieutenant of Infantry in WWII and his father was an infantry lieutenant in WWI. I was a legacy of sorts, and I’m proud of my time in service and of my war record: I won two bronze stars, an air medal, an Army Commendation Medal and a Combat Infantryman’s Badge.

How is it possible to reconcile anti-war philosophy and voluntary war service? Three rationales served to at least ease the conflict in my mind. First, I was a college educated adult before joining the Army, and I had studied some history of our involvement in S E Asia. I didn’t subscribe to President Eisenhower’s domino theory. In fact, I thought our anti-communist stance in Asia would have been better serve by backing Ho Chi Minh. A nominal socialist, but hardly a friend of China or the USSR. Nevertheless, duty called. Not so much “my country, right or wrong” but rather that our foreign policy was in the hands of people I respected, and if we succeeded in promoting fair elections and democracy, so much the better.

Second, who was I to rebel against the government of the country that I love and which had provided a good life and promising future so far? I wasn’t about to skip to Canada — it just wasn’t in me. And last, I toyed with the idea of a military career. I’d gone to military school and flourished, so it didn’t seem crazy to consider the Army as a career. I had a student deferment, but it was canceled. My draft board contacted me to advise that I was likely to be drafted but if I enlisted I could go to OCS. I took the offer and volunteered in October 1967.

I don’t mean to give the impression that I went to war in a confused state of indecision or torn by regret. Military training is demanding, and I was focused on doing well from the moment it began. Nothing gets your attention faster than live ammo demonstrations and low-crawling under machine gun fire. Basic training, advanced infantry training (AIT), infantry officer candidate school and acclimatization training in Fort William B. Davis, Panama was the preparatory work I benefited from before I even set foot on Vietnamese soil. I was well prepared, and ready to serve even in a war I had opposed.

For one year I participated in the Vietnam War — six months in front line combat and six as a staff tactical officer. I was not wounded, neither physically nor mentally, a far as I can tell. I still think the war was wrong, but I’m proud to have served my country.